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Thursday, March 26, 2020

How do we tell children about the Covid-19 pandemic?

How do we tell children about the Covid-19 pandemic.
Besides calming their fears and teaching them best practices, we should answer their spiritual questions. They may wonder how God lets this happen. Isn't God good? Doesn't God make things that are good? Isn't the virus terrible? How could God create something terrible? Is it punishment of some kind? 
These questions have come up before for epidemics, earthquakes, and other other natural disasters. The stock answer is, "It is a mystery." I don't find that answer very satisfying (even though it is true).
One commentator I heard based the analysis on how the greatest good for anything created is fulfilling its true purpose. Our purpose is to love God. The role of a virus, on the other hand, is to multiply. Covid-19 does that brilliantly in humans, even though we experience the fulfillment of the virus' purpose as suffering. 
Another explanation (again, not one I find satisfying) is that this virus reflects the Fall from grace by Adam and Eve. I quote from Fr, Jeffrey Kirby, on Crux: 
"The Christian tradition traces all evil, disease and suffering to the original fall of our first parents. When Adam and Eve rebelled against the goodness and benevolence of God, our human nature and creation lost their harmony. The interior balance within the human person was thrown into disarray. The tranquility of creation was disrupted and no longer in the order ordained by God. As a result, disorders of the body and soul – such as threatening viruses – emerged and reemerge throughout history. The human family suffers from these evils."
That writer goes on to reflect that Jesus, in the ultimate humility, took on our suffering both by becoming human and by redeeming us through the Resurrection. Through our suffering, we participate in Jesus' Death and Resurrection. 
I am not sure that an eight-year-old would find that explanation convincing. I might not. It would need a context where the child has been taught to use suffering (fasting perhaps) as a mode of prayer, and sees that practice modeled by the parents. It is never a bad idea to share honestly with your children and work through a best response together. (And let them see you struggling with a prayerful response to difficult situations so you can teach them with your actions.)
There is another tradition based on observations of the natural world that events or conditions that feel like suffering or disaster can be powerful agents of change and transformation. For example, fires in a forest clear out dead growth and enable new growth. Some types of seeds in fact require fire to sprout. Any kind of adversity or suffering can spark creativity. 
Certainly the aftermath of this crisis (and it will end and there will be life afterwards) will bring change and creativity. Perhaps it will bring much needed coherence to our health system or more care for our workforce. It may bring a focus on manufacturing domestically. Or most likely some positive outcomes unimaginable today.
What I find most helpful is to concentrate on moments of grace and gratitude. I have been talking to family on the phone and enjoying time with my husband. The antidote for fear and worry is to concentrate on the moment at hand: the changing light during the day, ambient sounds, the quiet presence of God in our lives now and always. 

We share in their virtues by loving them

I came across the phrase "We share in their virtues by loving them" recently. It echoed with other observations, how, for example, we admire people who speak to something we aspire to, usually someone in whom we see something we lack. For example, for me, a moment of change was when I noticed that while I was inconsistent in attendance, and was frequently late, the director of the program was consistently there, and consistently loving in her approach. Rather than admonishing me for the flaws I was only too aware of, she reminded me that I was doing the best I could.

I remember day thinking, "I can actually do better." And I did. Her gentleness and consistency transfomed my life.

Others I admired at the time showed other virtues: a friend who always found measured, loving response even to real provocation; another friend who carefully cultivates her writing and has published beautiful work. 

I do not "share" in their virtues exactly by noticing them: I'm still inconsistent, unmeasured, and undisciplined especially compared to them. I do however try to emulate them as I can. It makes a difference.

Who do you admire in your life? What do they have to give you?